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Felly Viral > Blog > Politics > 'I don't have a buoyancy aid': Living without the Bank of Mum and Dad
Politics

'I don't have a buoyancy aid': Living without the Bank of Mum and Dad

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Last updated: September 22, 2026 11:20 pm
admin Published September 22, 2026
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September 22, 2026 at 11:20 pmIn: Politics

Buying a home or even moving into a rented property is an increasingly unrealistic dream for many young people. This summer, BBC Your Voice revealed more than 40% of 25-year-olds were now living with their parents. Dozens of young people told us they were having to rely on the so-called Bank of Mum and Dad to help cover rent, bills and other living costs. But what happens if you cannot rely on help from family?

Citizens Advice says increasing numbers are struggling to afford everyday essentials like rent and food without support from their parents. Three women told us how they are navigating life without that safety net. Eleanor Bell, 23, from East Riding of Yorkshire, has a first-class degree but is struggling to find work Eleanor Bell is now 23, but was taken into care when she was 10. She grafted hard to do well at school and got a first-class degree from the University of Central Lancashire.

After graduating two years ago, she thought the playing field would even out. It hasn’t. Eleanor says she has applied for more jobs than she can count and had a handful of unsuccessful interviews. She’s currently living in her boyfriend’s home outside Penistone in South Yorkshire, which helps with living costs, but the rural location has made the job hunt harder for someone without a driving licence.

“I know a lot of people who’ve got jobs because their mum or dad worked there before them.” When she saw a BBC article about how many young people now live with their parents, she got in touch. “I guess it makes me a bit sad. I’d like to live with my parents… but it made me think about the people like me, the people that don’t have that, what are they doing then? Where are they?

Who do they have to fall back on? “It’s like everyone in their 20s is having to tread water, but I haven’t been given a buoyancy aid,” Eleanor tells the BBC. Official figures show that 39% of care leavers aged 19 to 21 in England are not in education, employment or training, compared with around 13% of young people overall. “I want to be independent and so when you get to this kind of thing it’s like hitting a wall.” For Eleanor, it’s not just financial support and the roof over her head that she’s missing.

“You don’t have someone to hold you and go, ‘Look I’ve done the same thing, but don’t worry’ … that lack of preparation I think really does affect you,” she explains. “I don’t quite know what to do, that’s how I feel, just a bit lost. I’m just back to being in the dark without a torch kind of thing, that’s what it feels like.” Sam Barrett, 24, from Sunderland, is studying part-time. She left her full-time job to care for her mum In Sunderland, Sam Barrett, 24, feels frustrated that others her age have a financial back-stop that isn’t available to her.

She left her full-time job in the hospitality business to care for her mum and is studying health and social care part-time, but says that Careers Allowance and Universal Credit don’t cover her main expenses. “Not a lot is coming in, you only get so much being a carer. I don’t buy any luxuries, I rarely do anything fun,” she says. Her mum helps financially when she can, but there’s not a lot of money to go around and Sam says she’s conscious of that.

“I’ve always felt it was a bit unfair growing up and seeing other people being at a massive advantage compared to me. Like a lot of parents would be like, ‘here’s money for driving lessons, and here’s your car’, and I can’t just do that,” she says. Sam’s angry there isn’t more pay for carers like her. “I’m saving the government money by caring for my mam.

The government aren’t doing anything to help you, they’re basically saying just get into debt.” Ezgi Polat, 23, from Cambridgeshire, lost her job a year ago and quickly fell behind on rent and bills In a recent survey of more than 5,500 people, commissioned by Citizens Advice, 36% adults said they were behind on at least one bill, but for those in their 20s that figure climbs to 57%. Ezgi Polat is one of them. When the 23-year-old, from Ramsey in Cambridgeshire, lost her job 12 months ago, her family weren’t in a position to help, so she quickly fell behind on rent and bills. “My parents were struggling financially, just like I am, just like everyone else….

I got myself in arrears, a lot of debt because I just couldn’t afford it – £300 was not covering any of my bills at that point.” Her local bus service was cancelled, making trips to the job centre increasingly difficult, so her benefits were then cut. She was receiving £360 a month in Universal Credit, but with rent at £460, plus utility bills, council tax and living costs, her total debt spiralled to about £4,000. After turning to Citizens Advice for help, her rent arrears were wiped out by the council three months ago, and she’s agreed to paying £200 a month to both her electricity and water company in repayment plans. She’s delighted to have now got work in a warehouse and feels like life is getting back on track, but it’s not been an easy road.

“A lot of older people feel like we’re not ambitious enough, or we’re not striving hard enough, but they’d be surprised at the amount of people out there so desperate for work and so desperate for support but with nowhere to turn to,” she says. The latest government figures show that just under a million young people are currently not in employment, education or training. A government spokesperson said “We are determined to restore hope and deliver opportunity for young people in every postcode. That’s why we are investing £2.5 billion to create opportunities for young people to earn or learn through more apprenticeships, job grants, and training.

And for those moving out for the first time, our Renters’ Rights Act gives tenants more rights and protection from excessive increases.” But Luke Young, head of policy at Citizens Advice, thinks young people are trapped between rising costs and a difficult jobs market. “For young people right now the divide is growing bigger between those who do have financial support from families and other networks, and then those who don’t. Young people who don’t have that wider support network are being let down.” Additional reporting: Adam Clarkson and Elliot Deady The evidence that shows today’s 20-somethings really do have it worse ‘I live in survival mode’: The rise of the multi-job workforce The 20-somethings juggling three jobs to make ends meet

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