Checking in at a dating event in a bar in Guildford, Olivia Miller-Davis is understandably apprehensive. Even bringing a friend with her doesn’t remove the awkwardness at the start of the night. “It’s always nerve-wracking when you’re meeting new people,” the 28-year-old admits before downloading an app that will match her to other daters based on their star signs. This is speed dating 2026-style and Olivia, like many people we speak to, is here because she’s fed up of “endlessly swiping” or as some describe it “app fatigue”.
She says she hates judging people with “really limited information and just a couple of pictures” because she doesn’t feel she can “really fully commit” with so little to go on. According to a recent study from online regulator Ofcom 11% of adults use dating sites but it suggests the time we spend on them is dropping, from a peak of almost four hours a month in 2023, down to three hours last year. Olivia’s first match on the night is Edward and he agrees that recent dating trends leave him feeling cold. “I’m fed up with apps,” he says.
“I mean, they’re designed so that you don’t find ‘the one’, because they want you to come back and use the app forever. They don’t want you to get married from the app.” The event is organised by Love at First Sign, a dating company that uses an app to match people based on astrological connection, but most people are just using it as an icebreaker. Director of events Lissy Cleminson says the way people date is changing and a big factor is more home working since Covid, which means people do not meet in offices or on the commute. “The little meet-cutes don’t happen so much when you’re at home with your shirt up top and your pyjamas down bottom,” she jokes.
As you may expect at a dating event many of the singles told us they were keen for that in-real-life or IRL experience. There are a lot of #SingleTok and #Singlelife accounts on TikTok and Instagram reviewing dating events. Candice Gallagher runs an account called @Candilicious and recently went to 10 different dating events in 10 weeks. She describes herself as an entrepreneur and thinks in business terms dating events deliver “much greater return on investment”.
The 40-year-old says all too often dating online can lead to “chat graveyards” with very limited conversation. “At a dating event, everyone is single, everyone’s ready to mingle, and your chances of having a good conversation are much greater.” Many people at the event in Guildford agreed dating events were better value for money because “you get to meet a range of people” in person for a similar cost to one date from an app. These events typically cost around £15 to £30 and often include a drink and activity or icebreaking gimmick, in this case an app that is used throughout the night. Olivia believes money plays a big factor in dating.
“I wasn’t working for a bit because I changed careers and because of that I put dating on hold.” Olivia remembers thinking it “couldn’t be a priority” and feeling she needed to wait until she was “earning enough” before dating again. She is not alone in finding dating expensive. More than a quarter of daters surveyed by Barclays suggested rising costs had changed how they date. And a couple of recent studies suggest the monthly cost of dating – from apps to entertainment and clothes – can add up to around £130.
Those running apps are quick to point out online is still a big part in the way people meet. New research from Match Group, which owns Tinder and Hinge, suggests that out of those who had ever had a romantic relationship, about 21% of baby boomers surveyed met their most recent partner at a pub, bar or club. Among Gen Z, it was just 4%. The survey of 3,007 single people also suggests that of those who had ever had a relationship, 20% met their most recent partner on a dating app and 20% met through friends.
Chine Mmegwa, head of strategy, corporate development and operations at Match Group, said Tinder has made tweaks to its service in the past year to win back younger daters. As well as helping users find out more about each other in advance of dates, through interactive music and astrology features, it has introduced “double date mode” for friends who want to date together. And she said Tinder is doing more to encourage people to connect IRL. “They want to be in person.
You’ve seen us launch events across the US and now the UK. We are bringing IRL experiences into the app. “What we’re doing is putting IRL into our experience. And so we are bringing that gap to what they’re looking for in person, using the apps.” In Guildford, Olivia says her night was a success because she met some men she might want to go on a first date with.
When pushed by the BBC on whether she thought she had met “the one”, she laughs and becomes understandably guarded. “No, I’m not going to name anyone specific. But you’ll be invited to the wedding if there is one!” I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years and don’t know his salary ‘I’d be put off if he asked to split it’: Who should pay on a first date? My friends always want to split the bill equally, how do I say no?
